The Ghetto-Fabolous F-Crew
by Estelijah Greenwood
Summary: The Fellowship is acting strange and um, black. please read and review!!! Rated PG-13 cause of minor language and because it may permanently scar you for life!! lol. read with caution!!! WORD UP YO! FO SHO FO SHO!! SHUDDUP FOO!! ROTTEN BANANA!


Hiya!! Another one of our freaky stories!!! Yes, this is probably scarier than the pennies story. ::sigh:: well, you know, that's what we're all about, so read and review please!! Oh, and the "F" in F-Crew stands for Fellowship (Fellowship-Crew?) P.S. All songs are in italics.

Disclaimer: All of Tolkien's characters belong to him (technically, they now belong to Saul Zaentz, or something like that, but you know…), Brian Lam, my Rotten Banana cousin, and my little brother Nick belong to themselves, and all of the dialogue belongs to us (except the first line that Frodo says and what Brian and my brother Nick says).

The Ghetto-Fabolous F-Crew

By: Esteladuial and Orlijah Bloomwood (Estelijah)

"Put a du-rag on yo' bean head…" Frodo said, swaying about in his baggy leggings and admiring his current "blang-blang."

_"Hakuna Matata!"_ Sam started singing, _"It's our problem-free, philosophy!! Hakuna Matata…..!!"_ A spotlight shines on him and Merry and Pippin join in.

"Yo, yo, yo! What dis be all `bout young'nz?!" Frodo shouted angrily. "I show y'all how it be done. Now check dis…."

"Wait!! Hold up!! You're gon' need some backup!! Holla back now young'n!! Aiite, aiite, dis be da one an' only Elrond!! Hea' to break it down wit' da F-Crew!! Holla back young'n!!"

"Wo0p wo0p!!" exclaimed Frodo.

_"Now let's get down to business,_

_I don't got no time to go to Mordor wit' da F-Crew,_

_Must be the Dark Lord in town wit' his Ring."_

"What was that?!?" exclaimed Aragorn. "Personally, I prefer the following song:

_"I like big butts and I cannot lie,_

_You otha brothas can't deny,_

_When an Elf walks in wit' an itty bitty waist, and a round thang in yo' face, you get sprung!"_

"Hey, my butt ain't big!!" said Arwen and Legolas in unison.

"Don't deny it Arwen!! You know you wanna back dat azz up! Wo0p wo0p!!" said Aragorn. Arwen was mortified.

"Cease and desist Aragorn!! Save that talk fo' the bedroom……" said Arwen. Gimli looked unhappy.

"Don't I get to sing a song too?" he said.

_"I'm too sexy for my ax, _

_Too sexy for my ax,_

_It hurts." _

Gimli takes off his mail and armour and shirt. Everyone looked away in disgust.

_"I'm too sexy for Moria, _

_Too sexy for-"_

Aragorn took Boromir's shield and thwapped him on the head. 

"Shut up foo'!!" said Frodo.

"No one needs to see that!!" said Aragorn indignantly.

"Sexy……kind of……" said Arwen.

"That's what I'm talking about!! Take it all off Gimli!! Wo0t wo0t!!" said Galadriel. Celeborn popped out of nowhere.

"Hey Gaddy, I thought we had a little sunt'n sunt'n between us, you know what I'm sayin'?" he said.

"Sorry Celeborn, but we're through!!

_"I don't want to scrubs, _

_A scrub is an Elf who can't get no love from me,_

_Hanging at mah Lórien crib, wit' da young'n Elves,_

_Trying to holla at me!"_ she concluded.

"No, no, no, babe, you ain't doin' diz shit ta me…..I gots me a fly fly song ta sing too…." Celeborn answered, pulling a du-rag out and putting it on his bean head, and loosening his robe to expose his shiny new "blang-blang" with his name in Elvish.

_"Can I get a hob-bit!! Instead of Galadriel who be cheating wit' a midget  who ain't got no throne!"_ sang Celeborn.

_"Can I get summa Gimli wit'out C-Foo with his homie Frodo!" _sang Galadriel.

"Hey!! Who you callin' foo'? I outta get up right now and smack you cross yo' pigeon face!!" Frodo shouted indignantly, the end of his du-rag flapping up and down.

"You wanna smack her or do you want me to?! Ain't nobody go dissin' no brotha of mine yo! Gaddy triflin' yo! Shoo…Jus' cause she ain't got no man, dun' mean she gotta go an' bust on her ex and his homedawgs!!" Elrond seconded, his "blang-blang" clinking loudly around his neck.

"Hold up now yo! Ain't nothin' wrong wit' my girl Gaddy!! And ain't no fight goin' down up in dis joint wit'out me!!" Gimli defended, taking out his afro pick and sticking it in his beard.

"See what you dealin' wit' C-Foo'? Ain't no messin' wit' me an' my mad fine gang!!"

"You wanna fight me?!?! Bring it!" said the "ghetto" Celeborn.

"Ooooh…….Shut down!!" said Brian Lam, popping out of nowhere.

"What da hell you doin' in diz story?? Get yo' azz outta hea' foo'!!!" said Frodo. Brian popped away.

"I'll give you mah hoops Gaddy!" Arwen shouted, coming by then in her fly fly Mercedes convertible from just getting her tips done. "I'll help you kick dem ghetto azzez!! I'll bust a cap up yo' be-hinds!!" Arwenesha yelled again, her hoop earrings swinging about, and her jewelry jangling.

"Oh!! Yeah!! C-Foo' and his bujey gang getting' beat down!! Holla!!" Gaddy proclaimed, doing the Harlem shake.

"Wutchu talkin' `bout now?! Ain't no "Arwenesha" and midget wit' an afro fo' a beard gon' kick mah azz!" C-Foo' defended, his "blang-blang" clinking loudly again. "`Cause I gots a sweet li'l thang that outta take care of ya'llz!! I got diz join' from da iced out pawn shop dat da Ol' Foo' pawned his fly "blang-blang" at da otha day!! Meet Naryiqua!!"

"They all gasped simultaneously, with their assorted jewelry clanging loudly. Gimli's mouth dropped wide open and his afro pick fell to the ground with a loud clatter.

"Yo man!! Dat ain't cool dawg!! Oh, oh, no…….We ain't gon' mess wit' you now! Mah bad C-Foo'!! Fo'get diz, yo!" Gaddy said in disbelief, reapplying her shiny glitter lipgloss.

"Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' `bout young buck!!" C-Foo' said victoriously, doing the crip-walk and heel-two combined.

"Now, where was we?" said Frodo. They shrugged.

"Well den, back to a song!!" said Frodo.

_"Be kind to yo' web-footed young bucks!!_

_Fo dat duck may be sumbuddy's mutha!!_

_She lives on da edge of da swamp, where da weatha' is always damp!!_

_You may think dat dis is da end, well, ta prove dat we think yo' all lia's, we gon' sing it again, dis time justa li'l bit higha!!"_

They proceed to sing it higher, until Frodo was the last one to sing,

_"You may think dat dis is da end, _

_well, yo' righ'!!"_

The F-Crew did the chicken dance away. 

Esteladuial's Rotten Banana cousin pops up and says, "Hold up!! Dere's one mo' song!!

She had dumps like a truck truck truck  
Thighs like what what what  
Baby move your butt butt butt  
Uh  
I think to sing it again  
She had dumps like a truck truck truck  
Thighs like what what what  
All night long  
Let me see that thong  
  
I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong  
I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong!!"

Esteladuial's two year-old brother Nick pops up and says "Shut up foo'!!" to him and they both disappear.

THE END (or is it?!?!?)

MUAHAHA!!! Scary stuff, isn't it? And if you are wondering what a rotten banana is, it's an azn person that acts like a white person that tries to act black. Some term Brian made up, cause I (Esteladuial) told him to. "Yellow on the outside, white on the inside, and turning black!!" haha!! How clever. And if you also wondering, my 2 year-old brother does say, "Shut up foo!" Scary, isn't it? Please review!!


End file.
